That time of the month
by BelovedPrincessInsanity
Summary: This story is already finished, i written it a long time ago and put it on MediaMiner.org, anyway it's about Ed gettin her period. it's my first Fanfiction actully lol. soo..yea might be a lil crappy. r&r anywya tho! ^.~
1. Default Chapter

"Where's Ed?"   
"The hell if I know. Probably up stairs."   
"But she's been up stairs all day. Usually shes down here bugging the living daylights out of us."   
"Well if your so concerned, you go upstairs and go check."   
"Why am I always doing everything around here??"   
"Since when do you do everything around here?? Last time I checked you have done nothin' expect eat, sleep and bitch. Not to mention stealing my ciggrates."   
SLAP!! the ciggrate flew out of Spikes mouth and landed in his lap. He jumped quickly patting his clothes down from where the ciggrate had landed. His flesh was glowing red. Faye smiled. She took the ciggrate out of her mouth as she twisted the top back onto her fingernail polish. Jet poked his head out of the kitchen door with a eat beater attached to his metal arm and a bowl in the other.   
"So you wanna see a REAL bitch??" Faye asked standing up infront of Spike. The tall slender man growled at the green eyed woman standing before him. Faye took off her red button down shirt she had burrowed from Jet and tied it around her waist showing off her yellow spaghetti string shirt. She reached in her blue jeans and took out a pack of ciggrates, took off her earrings and her eyeliner. Then the woman turned around and moved the table with the broke down TV sitting on top of it out of the way. Jet rolled his eyes and shook his head. Faye put up her dukes, moving around like a boxer. "Come on Spike," she said punching the air, her gaurd still up. Spike looked at her like she was crazy. And lit another ciggrate.   
"Your nuts." he said sitting back. Faye raised up her leg and sent it crash landing into the space between Spikes open legs. This caused him to drop the ciggrate out his mouth again and break. "Damnit Valentine!" he shouted getting up and taking off his jacket. "That's it!" he said bear hugging her and falling back onto the floor. Faye screamed and kneed Spike in the stomach. Ein started to walk down the hall but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the two grown people wrestling on the floor. He pulled his tongue back into his mouth and turned back around. Jet turned back around and went back to cooking.   
Meanwhile upstairs Edward was fast asleep. Her long leg hung over the side of her mattress, cans of high caffine drinks scattered everywhere. The famous Edward smiley face symbol floated across the screen, causing a blue and yellow lights to brightin the dim room. The girl rolled over onto her stomach, cans falling off the mattress and crashed into the floor. Ein used his head to open the door. The dog opened his eyes widely at the cans thrown everywhere. He walked up to the mattress and chewed gently on Edward's finger, trying to wake her up. She rolled off the bed and onto the floor. Cans crunched under her back. The girl slowly sat up at patted Ein on the head. She yawned and streched, scrathing her leg. Her fingernails almost seemed to glide over her skin. Ed lefted her fingers and observed the moisture on her finger tips. At first she thought that the caffine liquid had leaked onto her legs, but it would have been sticky. She smelled her fingers, not being able to tell what it was. Finally a bright flash from her laptop let her see that the liquid on her fingers was a dark red. Ed rubbed her hand over her inner thigh and it too was coverd in dark red. "BLOOD!" the insane hacker whispered to herself in amazment. 


	2. Day one Bubbles and Biology

A/n: I don't own cowboy bebop. Watch out I made Faye more sweeter then she should be. ^_^   
REMEMBER REVIEW FOR ME AND ILL LOVE U. FOR EVER AND EVER!   
Spike and Faye looked up suddenly. Spike didn't let go of his handful of Faye's hair, Faye didn't let go of Spikes face. "Did you.." Faye said.   
"Hear that?" Spike finished the sentence for her. Jet came sliding out of the kitchen, sausage links in one hand and a huge butcher knife in the other, wearing a kiss the cook apron.   
"What's going on??" He said looking down at Faye who had Spike penned to the ground. "Good God you too get a room." He said.   
"HEY!!" The two said together. Just then Ein came running down the stairs. Ed followed right behide him, screaming. She ran around Spike and Faye with her arms raised high in the air, blood dripping on the floor. Jet was the first to see that Ed was leaking the red fluids on the floor. He dropped what he was holding and grabbed hold of the screaming girl.   
"Ed what's wrong?? Are you hurt??"   
"AAAAAHHH!!!! BLEEDING BLEEDING BLEEDING!!!!" was Jet's only respones. Faye's eyes followed the trail of red streaming down the girl's leg. It soaked her black spandex pants. She gasped.   
"OH MY GOSH!!! EDWARD'S A WOMAN!!" she shouted and got up off of Spike. Edward stopped screaming and looked at Faye. The purple haired woman grabbed Edward and squeezed her tightly.   
"What are you talking about?" Jet and Spike said all at once.   
"Edward is having her.." Faye paused suddenly as if the word was sacried. "Ed's having her period," She finished in a whisper.   
"HOW?!!" Jet screamed.   
"How do you think idiot. See when the egg in the uterus isn't fertilized then it starts to shed its lining," Faye said 'as a matter of fact'.   
"WE don't need a biology lesson." Spike said getting off the floor. Faye rolled her eyes and started to pull Edward toward her room.   
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!   
Edward stood there in a towel, dripping wet and smelling like the body wash/bubble bath Faye had poured into her water. Faye reached out and took the towel off the girls fiery hair. Faye twisted up the towel and hit her on the bottom with it. Ed let out a yelp and held her butt looking at the woman oddly. Faye started handing the girl a bottle of lotion and deodorant.   
"Faye Faye?" Ed asked innocently. Faye twitched at her sickening nickname.   
"Yes," Valentine answered, looking throw her drawers, pulling out clothes. A red shirt landed on Edward's head.   
"What's a...period?" Faye fell over anime style at the question.   
"You mean you have no idea what is happening inside of your body?"   
"...No?" Faye shook her head.   
"I thought they taught kids this stuff in school," she said to herself. "Okay.." Faye said taking a deep breath. Edward quickly put on the clothes Faye had given her. Her green eyes watched Ed move uncomfortably in the pants she had on. Edward reached between her legs and repositioned her pad. Faye reached out and smacked her hand."YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT IN PUBLIC KID!"   
"But Edward see Jet and Spike person do it all the time. And they are in the public." Faye sweatdropped.   
"First of all they're scratching themselves, second of all, men do that all the time. Even when I was a kid. Obviously things haven't changed much over the years."   
"So can Edward scratch-"   
"NO Edward cannot SCRATCH in public. Not down there anyway, someone might think your not clean or you have crabs."   
"EDWARD LIKES CRABS!" Especially the kind Jet make!!" Edward said happily. Faye sat down on her bed Indian style and rubbed her temples.   
"We'll get to crabs later. Right now were going to talk about why your bleeding." Edward crawled up on the bed and sat Indian style like Faye."Alright,here we go..." she said taking a deep breath again. "Okay, most females have little.....things inside of them called eggs. And the purpose of the egg is to make a baby. So the egg go to a special place called the uterus. There blood will try to prepare the egg just in case you get pregnant. So lots and lots of blood will prepare it," Faye stopped momentarily to make sure Edward was understanding all this at once. Faye took the blank expression as a good thing and went on with the explanation. "So anyway, if the egg isn't fertilized, the blood and tissue that tried to prepare the egg will leave the body. And it will come out of the vagina. It can last longer or shorter then a week." Faye smiled. proud of herself for conducting such a professional lecture. "Any questions?" Faye asked.   
"Edward wants to know how you get pregnant." She questioned, blinking absentmindedly. Faye sighed heavily. "It's gonna be a long day.." 


	3. Day two hotdogs and donuts

A/n: u know I don't own them. Why ask people?   
"What do you think they're up there talking about?" Spike shrugged as an answer to Jet's question.   
"Why don't you sneak up there and see?" The younger man suggested with a slight chuckle. Jet looked at him as if he had lost it completely.   
"N-no I think I'll pass." The ex cop said shakily. Spike patted him on the back and tried to force him up out the chair. Suddenly without warning, Faye came tiptoeing in. She had a white foam toe divider on each foot, rollers in her hair, a purple tank top and some red short, along with the green creme she had on her entire face, and the white blackhead removal stripe on her nose. She giggled as she bent over and open the refrigerator, she took out a hot-dog and donuts and scurried out the room.   
"Hurry up!" Spike said persistently encouraging Jet to ease-drop on Edward's and Faye's talk which had been going on for almost 3 hours. Slowly, Jet got up and walked slowly to Faye's room. When he heard a light giggle come from the room, he stopped suddenly. "What's wrong Jet?" A voice said behide him. The man turned around and looked at Spike square in the face.   
"This isn't right. I feel like a pesky teenage boy crashing his sister's slumber party." Jet whispered scratching the top of his bald head. Spike smirked.   
"Why Jet,"   
"What?"   
"I never thought YOU out of ALL people would be scared to go up there. I thought you where a fearless ex cop...I guess I was wrong." Spike said sighing out. Jet scrunched his face up and turned around and continued to walk towards the room. He heard the giggle echo again, he looked behide him and saw Spike standing there with a lit cigarette in his mouth smiling. Jet grunted and finally got to the door, luckily it was already cracked open. He saw Faye sitting on the bed, Edward in front of her, both sitting Indian style. The man was surprised to see that Edward, the ultimate tomboy, had her hair pulled up into rollers with the green stuff smeared on her face, alone with the painted nails, and nose stripe. The girl moved around in her capris and scratch her arm as she listened to Faye talk. His eyes widened as he saw Ein strut into the room, smaller rollers pinned up in his hair and red painted claws. He hopped on the bed beside Edward, pulled his paw out in front of him and blew on his wet nails.   
"What happens next?" Edward said, smiling mischievously. Faye returned the smile and popped some popcorn in her mouth. She picked up a hot-dog and donut.   
"Okay, so after that happens the man sticks it in the woman like this." She said pushing the hot-dog through the donut hole. Jet suddenly got blue in the face and ran down the hall. Spike stood there watching his friend fly passed him.   
"What happened?" he shouted out confused. 


	4. Day three Demons and Pills

A/n: u know I don't own them. Why ask people?   
"What do you think they're up there talking about?" Spike shrugged as an answer to Jet's question.   
"Why don't you sneak up there and see?" The younger man suggested with a slight chuckle. Jet looked at him as if he had lost it completely.   
"N-no I think I'll pass." The ex cop said shakily. Spike patted him on the back and tried to force him up out the chair. Suddenly without warning, Faye came tiptoeing in. She had a white foam toe divider on each foot, rollers in her hair, a purple tank top and some red short, along with the green creme she had on her entire face, and the white blackhead removal stripe on her nose. She giggled as she bent over and open the refrigerator, she took out a hot-dog and donuts and scurried out the room.   
"Hurry up!" Spike said persistently encouraging Jet to ease-drop on Edward's and Faye's talk which had been going on for almost 3 hours. Slowly, Jet got up and walked slowly to Faye's room. When he heard a light giggle come from the room, he stopped suddenly. "What's wrong Jet?" A voice said behide him. The man turned around and looked at Spike square in the face.   
"This isn't right. I feel like a pesky teenage boy crashing his sister's slumber party." Jet whispered scratching the top of his bald head. Spike smirked.   
"Why Jet,"   
"What?"   
"I never thought YOU out of ALL people would be scared to go up there. I thought you where a fearless ex cop...I guess I was wrong." Spike said sighing out. Jet scrunched his face up and turned around and continued to walk towards the room. He heard the giggle echo again, he looked behide him and saw Spike standing there with a lit cigarette in his mouth smiling. Jet grunted and finally got to the door, luckily it was already cracked open. He saw Faye sitting on the bed, Edward in front of her, both sitting Indian style. The man was surprised to see that Edward, the ultimate tomboy, had her hair pulled up into rollers with the green stuff smeared on her face, alone with the painted nails, and nose stripe. The girl moved around in her capris and scratch her arm as she listened to Faye talk. His eyes widened as he saw Ein strut into the room, smaller rollers pinned up in his hair and red painted claws. He hopped on the bed beside Edward, pulled his paw out in front of him and blew on his wet nails.   
"What happens next?" Edward said, smiling mischievously. Faye returned the smile and popped some popcorn in her mouth. She picked up a hot-dog and donut.   
"Okay, so after that happens the man sticks it in the woman like this." She said pushing the hot-dog through the donut hole. Jet suddenly got blue in the face and ran down the hall. Spike stood there watching his friend fly passed him.   
"What happened?" he shouted out confused. 


	5. Day four Poker and Laxatives

A/n: nope I still don't own it yet.   
Faye's loud snores echoed throughout the ship. She was laying down on the couch on her stomach, one leg off the sofa, with a red sleeping mask over her face. Spike and Jet busied themselves by playing a game of poker on the table. Ein was licking himself. It was the most peaceful day since Edward had 'turned into a woman.' So everyone decided to kick back at relax, while the serenity lasted. Spike looked over his cards, smiling with a cigarette in his mouth. Jet looked over his hand as well, raising an eyebrow at his partner. "So," Spike said sitting back and blowing smoke out at the same time while putting his cigarette in the ashtray, " how long do you think this is gonna last?"   
"How long what is gonna last?" Jet asked rearranging his cards.   
"Duh, this," Spike said waving his arms around, "the peacefulness. I mean, Edward is almost as worse as Faye on her period." Jet chuckled at his friend.   
"Faye's always on her period," Jet said loudly then he meant to. Spike sat back and laughed with his friend.   
"Yeah, the queen of PMS," he said back, sending the men into hysterical laughter. Slowly they calmed down and looked behide them to see if Faye had awoken. They heard her loud snore and figured they where okay. Jet picked out a card and slapped it on his forehead. "What cha got?" Asked Spike. Jet picked the card off his head and slapped down his cards.   
"Full House!" Jet said reaching out for the things they had put down to trade. Spike quickly reached out and grabbed his hand.   
"Nope, Royal Flush." Spike said smiling. Jet grunted and sat back down in his seat. Spike reached out and grabbed the stuff in the middle of the table when a few extra cards fell out his sleeve. The ex-gangster smiled sheepishly and blushed. Jet growled and hit his fists on the table.   
"SPIKE YOU LIEN CHEATING DOG!"   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Faye stood at the stove, wearing a ruffle apron that looked like it came straight out of 'Leave it to Beaver.' She starred a pot of soup as she opened the oven and looked into it. Spike and Jet walked into the kitchen and looked at her strangely. She turned around and smiled charmingly. "Oh hello boys!" she said in a chirp voice. "How was work?" Jet looked at Spike and slowly sat down at the table.   
"Fine," he said monotone watching Faye's every move. Within no time she had plates of delicious food in front of the two men.   
"Eat up!" she said smiling, digging into her own plate. Spike and Jet stopped examining the food for any poison that Faye could have put in and started gobbling it up.   
" This is really good Faye," Spike commented through a mouth full of food.   
"Yea I had no idea you could cook." Jet said surprised. Faye's green eyes watched as they licked the plates clean. She smiled, picked them up and placed them in the sink. Well, about 5 minutes later she could hear Jet's stomach rumble. He patted it and looked at Spike. Spike's stomach started to growl.   
"What the-" without warning the two jumped up holding their bottoms.   
"Oh I see that laxative worked better then I thought." Faye said removing the bottle of the deadly mixture. Before they had time to cuss the woman out they where racing to the bathroom. Jet made it there first and closed the door. Spike heard him sigh in relief and then very obscene noises after that. He banged on the door.   
"Jet com'on!! OPEN THE DOOR!" Spike screamed. Faye heard all the commotion she had created and smiled to herself. She took off the apron and tossed it to the side, joining Ed at the table. The computer hacker sat the table, shuffling cards, dressed down in a pair of black jeans, a black shirt with 'MY BODY IS MY TEMPLE NOW GET DOWN AND WORSHIP' written on the front and dark sunglasses. She started to pass cards to Faye.   
"Say it Faye-Faye," Edward said smiling.   
"Okay okay, the joke worked. In fact I'm impressed at you Ed," Faye said picking up her cards and looking them over, "I didn't think you had it in you. I think I'm going to enjoy your mood-swings. Gotta three?" Faye asked. Edward looked over the top of her glasses.   
"Gold fish," she said happily.   
"Damn." 


	6. Computers and Dragqueens

Well, damnit he looked like a woman to me."   
"Please Spike, okay I have to admit, he did have a great set of legs. But didn't you see his Adam's Apple? Come on Spike it looked like a damn watermelon!" Jet laughed out holding his stomach. Spike's eye twitched with irritation.   
"Well, there's so many drag queens running around. Not to mention transsexuals. It's hard for a guy to tell a he from a she." Spike said with a touch of anger. Before the two reached around the corner they stopped at a familiar sound. A constant but extremely fast clicking and clacking. The two men looked at one another and peaked around the corner, observing the Edward's back. She had on white sweatpants and a white wife beater with her black bandana on. Her hand reached over and grabbed her caffeine can and drunk the rest of the drink inside and crushed the can with her hand. Absentmindedly the young hacker tossed it behide her shoulder, hitting Jet on his head.   
"Ow!" he shouted coming out from behide the corner. Spike milked the moment for everything it was worth, laughing hard and holding his stomach as Jet did when he had his run-in with the beautiful drag queen. Both men silenced when Ed turned slowly to look at them. They took a few steps back as she rose up from her sitting position. The male bounty hunters continued to back up until they hit the wall. Edward lifted her goggles and handed them a list.   
"Edward is all out of Caffy Pops," She commented innocently holding up an empty can. "And Faye-Faye said get some food in her before she eats the mutt." Edward said before returning to her laptop computer. Spike looked at Jet and Jet looked at Spike.   
"Ask her," Jet mumbled reading Spikes mind. Spike cleared his throat causing the girl to turn around.   
"Uh..Edward we were just wonder, are you still...ya know," he said in a low voice. Edward raised an eyebrow.   
"You know," Spike said narrowing his eyes, "are you still on....IT," he said raising his eyebrows up and down. Edward rolled her eyes, clearly a habit she picked up from Ms. Valentine.   
"Edward does not know what Spike person is talking about," Edward said in her normal bubbly tone. The two guys came to an agreement that she wasn't.   
"Where's Faye?" Jet said finally relaxing, about to sit on to the yellow couch, and as if on que, there was a scream from upstairs. Spike, Jet and Edward quickly rushed up to Faye's room.   
Soon as they opened the door, they wished they never stepped into the room. Wind whipped around the small room, causing things to float around as if it was a tornado in the room. The screeching pile that was Faye under her sheets shot up out of her bed. Eyes glowing a neon acid green. She grabbed Jet and pinned him to the bed, scratching up his shirt.   
"Here we go again," The ex gangster said. 


End file.
